Weekend Intensive

Whew.  We finally have a chance to breathe. Just in time to return to work.  As many of you may know, we had our Weekend Intensive meetings this past weekend down in LA - again. This time, we wised up and avoided the Motel 6, despite its promises and lures of relaxation and spa-like environs.  Instead, we opted for an air mattress in the living room of a friend who lives in Alhambra (a short 25 miles away from the IAC offices - more on that "short" jaunt later).  I am not sure we really knew what to expect when we headed down to LA after work on Thursday. On Friday morning, we were bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to take on whatever they threw at us. We had our folder of pre-filled out forms that I was sure would amaze the staff because we were so on top of things. After all, we had sacrificed so much of our previous week - and by sacrifice, I mean peeling our eyes off of the Real Housewives and Hell's Kitchen long enough to make sure everything was done.  


When we got there, there were three other couples, one of which we saw last weekend at the orientation - clearly our biggest competition.  The secret agents who acted coy and unsure last week, but who decided ultimately to jump at this chance.  Of course it isn't a competition, but how could it not be.  A little.  I mean, we are starting around the same time, so we are heading out the gate neck and neck - the finish line: a sterile hospital room with an amazingly selfless girl bringing fourth our baby.  Now, I am not competitive, but I am not going to just sit back while there are things I can be doing needing to be done.  Then there was the other gay couple.  Hmmm. Similarities can be detrimental.  But, one of them is an "actor".  I dared Chad to ask what he had seen him in, but no bite.  He left midway through the day for an audition.  Can't help but think of the deductions the judges would give him for that (yes, the Olympics are currently on).  Finally, a vanilla couple in the corner from Pacoima.  Not much to say.  He is in finance.  I don't remember what she does.  Eh.  Not on the radar.  


Friday was nothing short of incredibly overwhelming.  We were given what Chad has deemed "the $20,000 binder" that will act as our user guide for everything we could possibly need to know about this process.  Then the staff began their tag team approach to scaring the bejeebus out of us.  The home study will not be adequate unless we are able to move all cleaning products from under the sink to somewhere out of the reach of children - like the attic, I think.  We have to invest in a lock box for all of our medications and vitamins, also to be stored in the attic, or more preferably in an off-site storage.  And our beautifully remodeled fireplace will need to be re-fabricated and covered so the child doesn't run into the glass and fire.  Hey - the cats only did it once before realizing fire = hot.  We learned about how to build the ever important Birthmother Letter and subsequent website.  We were told it would take about 2 months of back and forth edits to finish the letter and get an approval for final proof.  Apparently they didn't know that creative writing is a passion of mine.  I will have to educate them.  Break for lunch. 


 We returned to learn about who the birthmothers are.  
Average age: 22-23
Relatively uneducated, but there are many in college
80% do not use drugs or alcohol (turns out the requirements to complete the program are too intensive for many drug abusers to complete. Ironic, as this weekend was leading me to really want a glass of wine.)
up to 20% of those who have used alcohol are "initial users" which means they may have had some social drinking experiences prior to realizing they were pregnant.
54% are Caucasian - next closest is Hispanic at 9%.
Twins occur in a similar proportion found in the general population: about 2%
only 4% end up changing their minds when they give birth. 
Very few require financial assistance.
Nearly all are covered under some form of health insurance - whether it be her own, her parents, or medicaid.


By the end of the day, we had had so much information thrown at us, I honestly couldn't tell you what the last hour consisted of.  I could tell you that I am fairly certain my ass had been  numb for nearly 2 hours and I couldn't feel parts of my legs.  Then came the homework.  Yes, I did perk up at that. I could have sworn I had graduated and sworn off school forever.  But, homework always stalks you apparently.  We have to read two books.  I am not sure if there is a quiz. I am going to read the books.  I always do.  


Then came the drive home.  Remember how I kind of boasted about only having to drive 25 miles to our upgraded accommodations? Well, it was Friday.  At 5 pm.  In LA.  I was near delusional.  Thankfully the GPS offered traffic guidance and route recalculations.  What the GPS doesn't take into consideration.  Driver safety and an algorithm to factor socioeconomic dynamics and crime statistics into these routes.  We unknowingly avoided the freeway traffic - thank the good Lord - by taking the first exit directly into the heart of South Central LA.  Yeah Inglewood.  Terrifying.  However, we learned where McDonalds and myriad of fried chicken joints make their money.  Nearly two hours later and narrowly avoiding multiple drive by shootings (maybe. Probably not), we made it back to the house.  I needed to stare at a wall.  And not think.  The best compromise we could derive: the Opening Ceremony for the 2012 Olympics.  Dulled the brain perfectly.  However, it was an impromptu geography lesson. Now, I pride myself in my knowledge of geography (please reference the fact that I have had to educate many people about the fact that Alaska is not, in fact, an island. And Egypt, most definitely is part of Africa), but I had no idea many of these countries existed.  


We returned the the offices on Saturday relatively refreshed.  We enjoyed a nice breakfast at Denny's by the airport, because, if we can't sleep by the airport, we should at least rub shoulders at some of the finest dining W. Century Blvd has to offer.  The morning was quick.  We met a birthmother.  I was astounded by her ability to withstand a tremendous uphill battle at such a young age and still remain totally selfless and give the gift of life to another couple.  It takes courage. It takes strength.  I can only hope that we find such a strong girl.  Rounding out the experience was a talk with another adoptive family.  I wasn't impressed with the man's ability to speak, which makes it hard to empathize with his story. But nonetheless, it is encouraging to know that people do in fact end up with kids :)


We rounded out our trip to LA with a trip to IKEA.  Who wouldn't go to decompress at a Swedish DIY furniture store.  We found a few little do-dads to bring home, but nothing like a full kitchen or a bed.  I think the only reason was that we couldn't fit a king sized bed frame in the Prius, even if it is uassembled at time of transport.


One of the things we were told to do to prepare for the birthmother letter and website is to get some pictures for the letter.  We had some friends over (Hilary and Jerod are simply amazing!) and had a mini photo shoot.  Lesson of the day: you women are quite impressive at blending your make up.  I had to put some cover up on my face as a form of air brushing, and apparently my blending techniques are not up to professional standards.  We got some awesome pictures and we are very excited to get them up and going on our marketing products.  


As usual, thank you all so much for supporting us with encouraging words, volunteerism, and willingness to find random children that we can nab for action-based photo ops.  You are all amazing.  
Thank you for taking this journey with us!


Travis