So one important aspect of finding a baby is finding a nice girl who has gotten herself into a predicament that she is not ready for. I am sure whoever we find is going to be someone who is wonderful and special. She has simply made some difficult decisions and she is mature enough to realize she isn't ready to have a child of her own to raise, so she wants to find a good home. But this woman doesn't just show up on our doorstep. I mean, it would be really nice if that's the way it went down, but I don't think this method would really be something I would sell my house on.
IAC has a very innovative plan for helping women find adoptive homes for their babies. Its the Dear Birthmother Letter (DBML). This is a marketing tool that we create to show ourselves off as the best family for her. It is a mixture of pictures and text that tell our story in an attempt to "sell ourselves". A completed DBML is printed and given to the IAC so that when women call, we can be included in a packet of letters that get to sent to her, assuming our preferences match her situation and vice versa.
We went to work almost immediately back in August to create this letter. We enlisted our dear friend Hilary to help us take some stunning photos of our gleaming smiles for the cover of the brochure and she also supplied some children for us to use, since we don't have any of our own - obviously - and want to show the prospective women that we actually like children and can play nicely with them. We had a rough draft of our letter already in place because I am a planner so I knew this was going to be expected. However, I did not realize HOW rough the draft was. I fancy myself a bit of a writer, so I figured much of what I had said in our draft was good and effective. I used good images to draw the woman in and hopefully make her feel like she had found the family for her. Then the edits came in.
On staff at IAC is a marketer and editor. His main job is to review everything we have to say and then tell us that everything we have to say about ourselves is not good enough. This process is incredibly frustrating. We submit a draft, wait a week for his responses and edits, pick our egos up off the floor when we realize that in our current state we aren't exactly the best of the best, make the changes and the cycle continues. We have to talk about ourselves, our home, our careers, our interests and how desperately we want a baby. BUT we can't come across as too desperate or needy at the same time.
Every week between August and October, we played this little game. Then when we had the letter done, we played the game with our pictures. We scoured high and low for pictures that showed we liked to have fun. We certainly didn't want the women to know that we like to hide in dark rooms alone listening to depressing music (no, I swear that has never happened). Our pictures couldn't be just us, posed. They needed to be candid and action oriented. Now, many of you may know that neither Chad or I actually enjoys pictures or posing for pictures, so this task was frustrating. We had to keep in mind that everything we were asked to do by the editor was for the better good. I am not going to lie when I tell you that I was stressed about this. It put into compromise my pride as a writer. I had to finally realize that I had never actually written something like this and needed to accept the fact that I wasn't perfect - even if my mom tells me I am.
Finally, in mid October, we got the final approval and were ready to print the letters and begin the long wait. In the end, we created a letter we are proud of and truly believe will demonstrate our personalities and our hopes for a future with our child. It is professional, yet warm. It is perfect - and my mom hasn't even seen the final product, so I am going to say that it must be true!
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